Money

A friend is loaning me a fascinating book called African Friends and Money Matters, written by an anthropologist writing about socio-economic system differences between Africans and Westerners.

In the chapter I'm reading now, the author (David Maranz) talks about the importance of gift-giving to friends in African culture. One thing I found particularly interesting is that in many African cultures, "compliments are frequently given indirectly in the form of requests for gifts or loans and are often formulated as questions" - so when someone asks for your shirt, they won't really be offended if you come up with an excuse why you can't give it to them. Hearing that was a relief, because I had to do this frequently in Karamoja! It makes me realize that in addition to begging (which is epidemic in K'moja), there could be other things going on, especially among people I would consider friends or acquaintances.

But this is the part that really sounded familiar:

There is a reasonable explanation for compliments not being made directly except between friends of mutual confidence...Traditionally there was much fear of evil tongue, evil eye, or evil touch. So, for example, it was taboo to tell parents that their child was pretty...In these belief systems, saying something complimentary can be a disguise for wishing evil on a person.

The women I met in Karamoja were always gracious, but if a Westerner tried to tell one her new baby, for instance, was beautiful, there would be disclaiming. That was actually one of the first bits of etiquette I learned, besides greeting: be careful about complimenting people about their children!

David's take on why so many people ask for what seem like crazy things, like "will you take me to America?" makes sense. And again, it's good to think deeper than what it sounds like on the surface to someone from a Western culture; not everyone is an opportunist in the sense that they're trying to advantage of you...

The foreigner in Africa frequently is asked for favors from strangers or near strangers that seem to be a mix of request, an indirectly expressed compliment, and deep desire that the asker does not expect will be granted...[e.g.] "Can you help me get to America?" Or, "Will you teach me English?" Certainly the asker would like to have these requests filled, but when the foreigner being addressed is almost a total stranger, he knows it is very unlikely. I understand these requests to be conversational openers, attempts to establish a friendly relationship, expressions of admiration for the thing requested, and verbalization of the recognition that the person being addressed has access to resources, position, and power.

Of course this makes me want to visit Uganda again and test out my newfound knowledge! :)